One More Night

So I was trying to figure out how I was going to relate to a song about staying in an unhealthy relationship after I woke up singing "One More Night" the other day. Honestly, I didn't have squat. Then, as I was making some food for dinner last night, I decided to watch the music video. At first, I thought "well, that's stupid, the video doesn't have anything to do with this song. He's a boxer with a family. And...?"
I thought about it a bit though, and I actually really like what they did with the foundation of the song. It's still about a failed relationship and staying with something unhealthy, but they split the two concepts up. If I understand it right, his boxing is driving them apart and she just can't take it anymore. Unfortunately, he also can't give it up, and it ends up costing him her (which is such a shame, because she is gorgeous and they have such a cute baby).
I think my thoughts went a bit introspective at that point, because I mean it's not that far of a cry to be able to identify with that situation, is it? This really is the essence of regret. At first, I was trying to make a case for good things edging out the best things. That's not really where I feel like this song is going though. Part of the song goes:

I'd be waking up in the morning, probably hating myself

This isn't a good thing that's robbing time from better things. This is something he acknowledges is going to be a decision he is going to regret in the future but makes it at that point because his compulsion is that strong in the moment. I think that's the best definition for addiction: disregarding the understanding that a decision is going to be hurtful or harmful for some sort of temporary feeling. By making that definition so broad, it includes a lot more than just substance abuse and sex-related activities. Shoot, there have been many times when I've opened up Facebook late at night and thought to myself "I'm too tired for this. I am going to be hating myself in the morning if I don't get to sleep now" and then start scrolling through my newsfeed anyways. Everyone can decide on it for themselves, but when I realized that, it shocked me in to a realization of just how addicted I'd become to meaningless social networking. Not that all social networking is bad mind you (just when it crosses over into meaningless territory).

I'd like to think that I'm pretty good at deciding what things make me happy (or at the very least, what will make me happy [even if it does occasionally require a bit of un-fun in the now]), and that's why the thought of choosing something that I know is not only going to hurt me but is going to make me unhappy sounds so absurd. 

Yeah, I stopped using my head, using my head letting it all go

And yet, I've done it before. I'm sure I'll do it again. I'll look at the clock, see that it's midnight, know that I want to get up early in the morning, and then click "Play Next Episode" on Netflix. As I've tried to recognize that I'm making a decision that I know is going to hurt me, I've gotten better at not being so absurd, but I've still got a long way to go. 

Here's to being happy in 2013!

A Tisket, A Tasket

I woke up one morning humming "A Tisket, A Tasket". It's got to be 15 years since I've sung that song, and the only time I can remember hearing it was in dance last semester as we were dancing triple-swing. Most of the songs from that era seem to have a beat made for swing, and I am ok with that :)
Music makes me happy. As I'm hoping you can tell by this post (and this blog in general!), I have a love for music. I don't claim to be any great aficionado of music, but I do love it. That love has spilled over into other aspects of my life, and has even helped created new loves in my life. Much more recent than my love of music in my love of dance.
My relationship with dancing has been an interesting one, no doubt. I think the first "dancing" I ever did was the deacon shuffle at church dances. Watch the video, then you'll appreciate why the dancing needed to go in quotations. In high school, I did show choir and a couple of musicals, so I danced to choreography. In my first semester at ASU, a cute girl who was a friend of a friend from church asked if I would join her ballroom class. I said, "sure!" and then found out a week later that she was engaged. That, however, put me in a place to fall in love with social partner dancing.
I've been taking lessons at ASU off an on throughout my undergrad, and they have really been some of my all-time favorite classes. I'm so far from being what I would consider a good dancer (though I did compete nationally :) ) but I've slowly been learning how to do more than just string random steps together. Each dance has a "feel" behind the steps, and that is where the fun comes in. I found this version of a Viennese Waltz that I feel like shows just how artistically you can interpret a song and how beautiful dancing can be.
There isn't really a purpose to this post, just a chance for me to say "I love to dance!"

Thanks for listening :)

My Paper Heart

I've had this post sitting around as a draft for months now, because I've never really been sure what to make of this song. I almost wrote a New Year's post with it, but that just didn't pan out, and we're now well on our way in to the new year (we're already more than 1% of the way done with this year!)
So, basically, I decided to write about this line from My Paper Heart:

This wait for destiny won't do.

I know it isn't the most profound of lines, but it's one of those things that people have said in a ton of different ways:

• Grab life by the horns
• A rolling stone gathers no moss
• He who hesitates is lost
• Shoot first, ask questions later
• Strike while the iron is hot
• Don't eat yellow snow.

OK, that last one had nothing to do with the rest of them, I just wanted to see if you were paying attention. In all seriousness though, it seems like motivation to act is one of the most common themes for old adages. As I thought about that, I realized that there must be some very solid truth behind that. I feel like there has got to be some reason why there are so many motivational speakers out there, and I can't tell you how many times I have left a motivational seminar thinking "I'm on fire! I can so totally do this!" 

I've got this idea that I've been working on for a while, and I really like how broadly it seems to work so far. It's based in science (being the nerd that I am), so I'm sorry if it's too boring. If you do make it through, tell me what you think:

1

Newton's first law can be boiled down to "An object in motion tends to stay in motion." It's the law of inertia. This is how my physics classes always started- throwing a baseball in space, a cart traveling on a friction-less track, etc. As simple as it can get, if something is sitting still, it's going to stay still, if it's moving, it is going to keep moving. 

I wish that life were that simple. Physics calculations would be so easy if that were the way things were. Similarly, if I could bottle that "I'm on fire!" attitude and keep that kind of motivation constant, I'd like to think that I could really be wildly successful. 

2

Unfortunately, newton's got another law. His second law relates the force an object experiences to the acceleration it will undergo by how heavy it is. Boiled down: the harder you push on something, the faster it's going to go. This, I feel, is half of the justification for the motivational speaking industry: we can be big, fat, lazy slobs. For some people, the adages up top would be enough to keep them going. They want to be moving anyway, and so the little pushes of simple sayings get them moving. For another group of people, anything short of a well-planned and passionately emotional speech won't be able to nudge us to act. 

3

If you noticed, I mentioned that 2 is half the justification for motivational speakers. There is one more portion to the laws of Newton that every physics student gets to learn: for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. This, I feel, is the other half. This is what really complicates the calculations. When there is friction slowing your cart down, when air resistance alters the path your baseball was going to take, when you have a great idea but start to see all of the obstacles facing you; that's what makes things so complicated. Every time that friction slows you down, you have to battle through, and I've found that it's often a motivational "push" that gets me past that and helps me keep moving. 

Everyone has their own personal way of motivating themselves. For some people, it's sayings written on mirrors. For others, it's surrounding themselves with positive people. Still others like to read inspiring stories. I know religion is a big part of what constitutes my motivation. Whatever it is, I feel like there is an innate need as part of the human condition that drives us to do, to become, to improve. We all want to make our own difference in the world, and waiting for destiny just won't do.

Les Miserables

I got to wake up slowly this morning, which I don't hardly ever do. It was actually quite enjoyable. It was kind of funny though: after having seen Les Miserables in theaters last night, I had a weird blend of a bunch of songs that would switch from one to another randomly. I hummed Stars, I Dreamed a Dream, Red and Black, One Day More, On My Own, and Javert's Suicide intermittently. A lot of these were in a medley that I watched yesterday afternoon, so maybe that inspired it somewhat this morning too.
I was kind of surprised by the movie. I haven't ever been a huge fan of the production when it's staged. Generally, it always feel like there are too many story arcs trying to fit in to one musical (it is an adaptation of a novel with 500,000+ words) and so you don't really get to emotionally connect with any character. As a result, I always felt like all of the characters were too flat to really enjoy show (with the exception of Eponine, whom I love).
The movie went a long way to solving this issue for me. The camera was RIGHT in their face for quite a few scenes, and I felt like the actors all did a pretty solid job of humanizing their characters a lot better than I'd ever experienced. That was definitely one of the biggest praises I had for the show. The music was really good in my opinion. I was glad that that recorded the vocals live, because that also made everyone much more human.
Someone asked me if it was too inappropriate. I've heard a lot of interesting answers from friends about this. Some people feel like Lovely Ladies is the only part that probably should have been toned down. Others said that that was fine, but scenes from Master of the House shouldn't have been put in. In discussing it today, I felt like I came up with my own opinion (yay!) of it. I felt like both of those scenes were very real. While there was a high level of vulgarity in each, it was done with a very specific purpose. I don't think I've really ever felt so acutely the despair and the destitution of someone who has literally lost everything. I've grown up in a pretty sheltered and simply life and it's easy to imagine all the world has gotten the same positive treatment that I have. These scenes were very much a slap in the face about how much real people experience and that I find it so easy to pretend doesn't exist. It was graphic, but it served a very specific purpose.
I know a lot of people cried during the movie. I'm generally not a big crier when it comes to movies (though books have a tendency to be a different story). I am happy to say, though, that I did have a solitary tear slide down my cheek during the movie. As Val Jean leaves with Fantine at the end, I could feel the love, but also the loss for Cosette. Then, as the bishop joined the trio and they sang "To love another person is to see the face of God", I felt the power of that theme which had been building throughout the movie.

In summation, I really enjoyed Les Miserables in theaters last night :)

Some Nights

So, to prepare for this blog, I went and googled "Some Nights" lyrics meaning and found a page where people can just write in what they feel like the lyrics to a song mean. This song has quite the range: from anti-war, to post-break-up song, to coming of age, to a same-sex marriage support. I honestly haven't a clue what they're singing about in the song. It's super catchy though, so it really isn't a surprise to me that it ended up on my blog.
I think this is a pretty fitting song to be blogging about on New Year's Eve. I know there's a lot of looking forward to the new year going on right now and that people are making resolutions for what is going to change and improve with the coming year. That is one of the things that I love about today's holiday: it's almost equal parts introspection and party! One of the repeated questions in the song asks

What do I stand for? What do I stand for?

This was a really good reminder for me. I feel like it might be too easy to look ahead at a fresh new year and think about all the things that could be different with the change in a digit, while forgetting all of the past strength and principle which has been built up. I've decided to spend just as much time asking myself what I stand for as well as what I am going to change in the coming year.

One of the sayings that I can't help but respect for its accuracy despite its triteness:

I know who I am.
My family means everything to me.I know my life has a purpose and meaning.
I have been given so much that I feel like I too have to give.
The world is full of people who are really, truly, deep-down good.
Every day is a new day for me to try and grow and change a little bit for the better.

Happy New Year's to you and may this year be full of meaning!

That's How You Know

How does she know you love her? How does she know she's yours?

I love this song for multiple reasons:

1. It's in Enchanted. I love that movie.
2. Amy Adams singing. I'm a fan.
3. There are steel drums in this song=awesome.
4. Central park craziness? Loved it!
5. This song focuses around one of the most central concerns of a relationship.

How do you know if someone loves you? How do you know if you love someone?

I think that there are a bunch of different ways you can answer either of those questions, but my personal favorite is the Languages of Love. 

In short summary, each of us speaks a language of love. They are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. While everyone can recognize different ways that love are expressed, one is usually pretty dominant over the others. For some, a heartfelt compliment really does mean the world. Another gauges closeness by physical contact.

For me, quality time is how you show me you care about me. If you want me to know how much you care about me, go out of your way to spend time with me and make that time be meaningful. There are several books associated with the Love Languages theory, and I have read one or two of them. It was really interesting to me to see how much I could apply it into my life (and I'm not even dating anyone). 

If you haven't ever looked in to these books, I'd recommend giving it a shot. It really can't hurt, and it might just clear things up so

that's how she knows that you love her

that's how you show her you love her

With Wondering Awe

In case you were so wrapped up in finals that you'd forgotten...
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Yeah, there are lots of people out there that are excited that it's Christmas as well. I came across these websites and they made me smile: http://www.whereareyouchristmas.com/  http://isitchristmas.com/ http://heyitschristmas.com/

I had the chorus from With Wondering Awe stuck in my head the other morning. What an awesome time of year!
I hope you're happy. I sure am :)