Not Over You

Oh Gavin DeGraw. How I love your music.

As a disclaimer, this is a general topic I've had on my mind for while and I'm going to try really hard not to direct it at anyone in particular.

The words for this song are SO emotionally driven (and it helps that it is so dang catchy as well). As I stood in the shower the other day, I was humming part of the song to myself, and I got to thinking about it:

Dreams, That's Where I Have To Go
To See Your Beautiful Face, Anymore
I Stare At A Picture Of You And Listen To The Radio
Hope, Hope There's A Conversation
Where We Both Admit We Had It Good But
Until Then It's Alienation, I Know, That Much Is Understood

Well, I'm not going to lie- this song is a bit of a downer. It's post-breakup, pre-functioning-in-society-again. But it's so real.

As I was thinking about it, I tried to deny it. I told myself, "nah. There are girls I've fallen for, but that was then. Someone else comes along. They always do."

If You Ask Me How I'm Doin' I Would Say I'm Doin Just Fine
I Would Lie And Say That You're Not On My Mind
But I Go Out And I Sit Down At A Table Set For Two
And Finally I'm Forced To Face The Truth
No Matter What They Say, I'm Not Over You
Not Over You

Oh Gavin. You win. I've never "set a table for two" out somewhere, but I may as well have. And you know what? As much as I want to deny it, I'm still there. Face it, you are too. We all have our own individual "tables" and we keep going back to them.

Why? Why do we get drawn in in such a way that, even if there is no relationship there, we still feel so strongly for someone? I don't know, but I'm going to give it my most optimistic analysis:

I think it's vitally important that those kinds of connections happen, and that they stay. Despite the desire that I would assume most people have felt to be able to sever that bond when the "it's over" comes, I'm afraid that would be the worst possible ability we could possess. Think about it: if a husband had the ability to sever all connection one evening after he and his young wife got in an argument, how would any marriage survive? If a mother quit caring for her son the first time he mischievously ruined a piece of furniture, what young boy would make it to adulthood?

While it's painful (Gavin gets it), I believe that it's a necessary pain. That pain means that you feel, that you connect. I would be more worried for people who can walk away at the end of a meaningful relationship and say, "well, that's over- what now?" I know that that doesn't lessen the pain of the moment, but it does give "hope, hope there's a" future someone you're going to find and because of whom you are going to be SO glad you still have the ability to connect, and to connect for good.

Keep your chin up :)