Payphone

This is one of those songs that I get stuck in my head, and it just plays over and over. Despite the fact that that is somewhat annoying by nature, I love the song so much that I don't even try to fight to get it out. I think part of it is the strength of emotion in the song which (even though I think might be taking things a bit too far) is conveyed in (yet another!) break-up song. I promise I'm not hating on relationships or the thought of people staying together! But it certainly seems like my subconscious has been of late.
Anyway, many of my friends can attest to the fact that I will (often at random times) start humming the tune from "Payphone". I thought through the lyrics for this one, and really wasn't sure what I wanted to write about for a blog post. Like I said, it's kind of a depressing, post-break-up song. Last night at the symphony, the theme for the piece I listened to got me thinking.

Change is one of the most powerful (and therefore scary) things I can think of in this world. The song starts out with the lyrics:

I'm at a payphone tryin' to call home

all of my change I spent on you.

What a sad place to be in! I am imagining Adam Lavine standing there on a street corner (the actual music video [with unedited lyrics and the rap bridge included] has this cool comic-book style) realizing that he has invested himself in to this relationship which is now irreconcilably over. In the midst of this pity party, I realized: wait. You spent all of your change on her...? That is a really clever play on words, but it strikes me as entirely and utterly by nature untrue. 

I am a firm believer that you can never be out of change. No matter who you were at one point, what you had to go through to get to this point, or what you think your future may end up holding for you, you can change. And even more-so than that: You will change.

It feels like it very much part of human nature to resist change. Everyone at one point or another can look back and say, "well, that was a change that was definitely for the worse!" Because of that potential consequence for change, I feel like it's only natural to try and find ways to avoid change. 

FACT: Change happens.

Anyone who tells you "my love for her hasn't changed over the last (insert time period here) one bit" is working with a very different definition of change. I would say that, even as each and every one of us grows with new experiences each day, so too must our relationships form and re-form to mold to the continuing complexity that is our lives. 

Now, I'm not saying Adam is wrong for investing change in his now-failed relationship. I'm saying it was wrong to have spent it on her. Like I said, change is a natural part of the world we live in, BUT there is definitely a wrong way to go about it. If he was changing for her all the time, then the relationship may well have become a lie.

One of the posts that I read which got me to really start thinking about regularly blogging myself (and its associated sequel [of which I claim partial credit in the conception]) really encapsulate how I feel change in a relationship should happen and what it can lead to. Rather than regurgitate them, I'll just suggest you read the posts as they stand.

So yes, change is going to happen. Yes, it is going to be an integral part of a relationship. BUT... No, it is not a bad thing. No, it shouldn't be manipulated as a tool to try and force something to work. And no, we should never feel like we've "run out of change."

PS- Thanks to Laura for the Bahama's payphone collage picture!