28 October, 2012

Adelaide's Lament


It says here...
The average unmarried female, basically insecure,
due to some long frustrations may react
with psychosomatic symptoms- difficult to endure-
affecting the upper respiratory tract.

In other words, just from waiting around for that plain little band of gold
a person can develop a cold.


I've been sitting on this post for a while, trying to figure out what to do with it. I was in Guys and Dolls my junior year in high school and had a ton of fun in it. In case you were wondering, my roll was billed as "Crapshooter #9" :)
I've long had difficulties with Adelaide. She's... a lot to handle. One of my best friends (and a girl who I'd liked since I was like 3) had the roll and did a fantastic job with it. Interestingly, though, to counterbalance the gung-ho man-hating Sarah, Adelaide is developed as a needy whiner, unable to help herself. If I'm going to be honest, neither of which is really all that attractive of a main character.
As I was buzzing around the interwebs today, I was reminded that a good friend from several years ago is becoming somewhat of a resident expert on a subject that has a lot to do with this. Kylee Shields has written a book "Make it Happen: A Guide to Happiness for LDS Singles". I haven't read it yet, but I've gotten to hear her talk about it a couple of times, and I am really excited to read it. The book started out titled "Single, So What?", but the title has obviously softened a bit since then. Still, the main message of the book is very empowering. Rather than reinforcing negative thinking and descending into an awful Teufelskreis*, the "average unmarried [single], basically insecure" is able to take a look at the surrounding environment, find out what is and is not bringing happiness, and make changes as desired.
It has been interesting to me that this has become a much more common message to the LDS single adults in recent years. I feel like the message has shifted from "if you aren't spending every waking moment trying to get married, then you are going to end up unhappy and alone" to "life is wonderful. Experience every day as much as you can, and be open to going where God wants to take you. What will happen will happen when it's right and if you're living as you should." I love how empowering and freeing that is. You can live your life and get so much out of it.
There are plenty of people in the world who are just itching to tell you how unhappy you should be. I love being happy in the face of so much evidence to the contrary. Why? Because I can.

PS: I have to include a bit of a plug for the upcoming MET production of Guys and Dolls. I almost auditioned for it, but I didn't. I do know General Cartwright in the play and am looking forward to seeing the show once it starts.

*A Teufelskreis is a German term that doesn't quite have a good English translation. "Vicious cycle" is about the best that the internet could come up with it. Literally, it's a devil's circle. It's a negative feedback loop where the devil gets something bad going, and that then fuels an ever-increasing amount of negativity and failure. It's a fantastic term for a truly horrible concept.

23 October, 2012

Check Yes or No




This song definitely had me smiling as I ate breakfast the other morning. I used to listen to a ton of country when I was a kid, and I've gotta say: country definitely has an interesting view on the idea of love. I'm not going to say that it skewed my perception of love as a kid, but it definitely contributed to some quirks (to say nothing of the damage done to my ability to make real rhymes).
I remember singing along to "Check Yes or No" long before I could date. Looking back now, I smile at how idyllic and simple it makes things sound:


It started way back in third grade
I used to sit beside Emmylou Hayes
A pink dress, a matching bow and her pony tail
She kissed me on the school bus, but told me not to tell

Next day I chased her 'round the playground
Across the monkey bars, to the merry-go-round
And Emmylou got caught passing me a note
Before the teacher took it, I read what she wrote:

"Do you love me, do you wanna be my friend?
And if you do
Well then don't be afraid to take me by the hand
If you want to
I think this is how love goes, check yes or no"


As I thought about it more, though, I felt like little Emmylou Hayes and George Strait (loved the glasses in the video!) nailed it on the head describing love. Love is wonderfully awkward. It doesn't make any sense, and it's foolhardy and nonsensical and full of fun and chasing on the monkey bars. It's putting yourself out there, and sometimes getting more back than you could ever have hoped for.
Is that cheesy?
Yeah, I guess it is.

...but you know what? I think that love is cheesy sometimes too :)