In case you don't know me, let me start out by explaining that I am very much a people-pleaser. Have been for as long as I can remember. Not sure why. It could be the cries of a middle child for attention and affirmation. It could just be an innate desire for everyone around me to be happy. It could be a portion of my inner introvert finding ways to make others happy without having to be in the spotlight all of the time. In any case, that is a part of who I am.
And you know what? It works. People always seem genuinely surprised when I do something nice, just because. Every time that I have tried to explain that there is no hidden agenda and that I do simply like making the people around me that I care about happy, I get a look that I can best describe as boy, you crazy. A couple of consequences have followed from this:
- People like to have me around. It's kind of a self-perpetuating cycle: I do something nice for someone and they get happy. Their happiness fulfills that inner people-pleaser, and I'm more apt to look for other ways to make them happy. Win-win, right?
- I have gotten lousy at accepting compliments. They say that practice makes perfect, but it all depends on what it is you're practicing. Too often, I've practiced deflecting or rejecting a compliment, and that has become the only skill that I've developed. If I've ever awkwardly been unable to accept a compliment, I'm sorry. I promise that I am working on it, but I don't often catch myself in time.
What does that boil down to? I really do believe that "nothing's bigger than love". That love is the driving force behind all that is good in the world, and that the best way to benefit from it is to simple embrace love in any form as it enters your life.
We had a guest lecturer in my nanobiotechnology class last week. She started out by talking about forces, and I loved how she began.
Over 2000 years ago, the Greeks had established that there really are only two forces at play in the universe, and everything is a manifestation of one of the two. She asked us to guess what they were after she wrote this on the board:
_ _ _ _
_ _ _ _
We all stared at it for a while, and I finally threw out there "Love?" (I know, right? What kind of an engineer throws out something as vague a concept as love?) Well, it turns out that was right. Greeks said that everything was powered by either love or hate. Fun concept right? Well, she then proceeded to take the next 75 minutes to show us how the Greeks were correct. We call it attraction and repulsion now (ionic, gravitational, magnetic etc.), but it fundamentally comes back to love and hate.
So, I firmly believe that there is nothing bigger than love, and that is where I am going to continue to focus my energy.
I love you!
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