One More Night

So I was trying to figure out how I was going to relate to a song about staying in an unhealthy relationship after I woke up singing "One More Night" the other day. Honestly, I didn't have squat. Then, as I was making some food for dinner last night, I decided to watch the music video. At first, I thought "well, that's stupid, the video doesn't have anything to do with this song. He's a boxer with a family. And...?"
I thought about it a bit though, and I actually really like what they did with the foundation of the song. It's still about a failed relationship and staying with something unhealthy, but they split the two concepts up. If I understand it right, his boxing is driving them apart and she just can't take it anymore. Unfortunately, he also can't give it up, and it ends up costing him her (which is such a shame, because she is gorgeous and they have such a cute baby).
I think my thoughts went a bit introspective at that point, because I mean it's not that far of a cry to be able to identify with that situation, is it? This really is the essence of regret. At first, I was trying to make a case for good things edging out the best things. That's not really where I feel like this song is going though. Part of the song goes:

I'd be waking up in the morning, probably hating myself

This isn't a good thing that's robbing time from better things. This is something he acknowledges is going to be a decision he is going to regret in the future but makes it at that point because his compulsion is that strong in the moment. I think that's the best definition for addiction: disregarding the understanding that a decision is going to be hurtful or harmful for some sort of temporary feeling. By making that definition so broad, it includes a lot more than just substance abuse and sex-related activities. Shoot, there have been many times when I've opened up Facebook late at night and thought to myself "I'm too tired for this. I am going to be hating myself in the morning if I don't get to sleep now" and then start scrolling through my newsfeed anyways. Everyone can decide on it for themselves, but when I realized that, it shocked me in to a realization of just how addicted I'd become to meaningless social networking. Not that all social networking is bad mind you (just when it crosses over into meaningless territory).

I'd like to think that I'm pretty good at deciding what things make me happy (or at the very least, what will make me happy [even if it does occasionally require a bit of un-fun in the now]), and that's why the thought of choosing something that I know is not only going to hurt me but is going to make me unhappy sounds so absurd. 

Yeah, I stopped using my head, using my head letting it all go

And yet, I've done it before. I'm sure I'll do it again. I'll look at the clock, see that it's midnight, know that I want to get up early in the morning, and then click "Play Next Episode" on Netflix. As I've tried to recognize that I'm making a decision that I know is going to hurt me, I've gotten better at not being so absurd, but I've still got a long way to go. 

Here's to being happy in 2013!